Don't keep thinking about the past, what could have been, what might might been.
Its gone - move on!
Hanging on to old bits of photos, momentos and the odd paraphernalia isn't helping. They are just getting you to think and to hurt all over again.
You need to start spring cleaning. Throw out the 'junk'. Repaint the house. Get some friends over to make the whole thing fun. Then go out and have a shopping spree. Buy all those things that he had always frowned upon. You know what I mean. He didn't make a big fuss out of. That slight crinkling of the nose. That off hand remark. All those things that let you know that he didn't want to be within 50 feet of whatever thing you wanted.
How about those cowboy boots you eyed? That Disney figurine you thought brought back memories? And that Stevie Wonder CD? And so on....
Its your time to get your personality back - and enjoy it!
Anybody you meet later on is going to have to appreciate everything you have as being part of you. They should not try to change you. "You" come as a complete package - take it or leave it! If you compromise too much like you did the last time you are NEVER going to be happy. It is the same wrong turn down the same dark alley.
You know it!
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