When Are You Ready to Move onto a New Relationship?

A breakup is painful and difficult to deal with on so many levels. The end of a close relationship, an intimate friendship, the dreams that were shared with the significant other are just few things which are lost. When are you really ready to move on to a new relationship without the trauma of the past relation? 

You may reflect on some of these points: 

1. Your significant other from the past no longer occupies your thoughts constantly. 

You cannot move ahead with a new person if you are mentally focused on someone else. During a breakup your main thoughts are occupied by the ex – what could have 

happened, what if things were somehow different, and what if you had not made a mistake, what if there was something you should have said? Once these thoughts of past relationship have been slowly died it will no longer be the primary force in your life. 

2. You no longer get all worked up and upset when dealing with your ex. 

There will surely come a time, when dealing with your ex will become easier and much less emotional. You will be dealing with just another annoying person. 

3. You have stopped trying to please your ex. 

Once a breakup has occurred all obligations to please are over. You no longer do the special things you used to do for them. Favors like washing the car or doing the laundry are no longer obligatory. 

4. Your conversations with friends do not include your ex anymore. 

We all tend to think and speak about the most important things in our lives, if you are no longer talking about your ex it means you can move on. 

5. The romantic feelings are all gone. 

We all harbor feelings towards our ex just after a breakup. When they subside it means you have recovered considerably. 

6. You can accept the fact that your ex may have a new romantic partner. 

There is not a feeling of jealousy because the emotional tie has worn off. 

 7. You no longer get angry at your ex. 

During a breakup one feels intensely angry. When former partners no longer evoke anger, one has become detached emotionally. 

You must wait and reflect till you get over some of these feelings and attachments. Everyone goes through them and it's only natural. One must be hopeful and have a positive approach to life. 

Rushing into a Relationship

Are you attempting to hurry into forming a relationship? This happens with some of you when you realize that most of your friends have steady partners, or that it is time for you to get married, or when you feel lonely. You tend to rush into an affair. You are willing to commit to someone despite feeling that person might not be the right match for you. This beckons future complications. Why do people behave in this manner? Is there a solution for this problem? 

Experiencing the desire to be in a relationship is only natural. It is a biological occurrence and there is nothing unhealthy or immoral about it. In fact, it is an indispensable part of development. The problem creeps in when you enter a relationship to gratify some other yearnings that have no part in the actual relationship. 

For example, if you are faced with problems at work, at home or with your health, you may believe that getting a companion would be a solution. You may want to escape the miserable situation you are in at present with someone else’s help and seek a happy life. This may eventually mar your relationship because you are getting into it with a load of baggage yourself.  

You can avoid this in two ways— either solve your problems first or ensure that your partner supports you from the onset. You must be clear about everything to your future partner and ascertain their support. 

Sometimes, failing to get into a relationship repeatedly can dent your self-confidence and make you feel inadequate or unimportant. You obviously want to feel good about yourself instead of being so miserable. This may make you dash into the relationship without really thinking too much. You need a partner to prove to yourself that you are capable of attaining one. 

Hence you may easily end up choosing the wrong person and subsequently hurt both yourself and the other. Never go into a relationship based on such reasons. Before beginning a relationship, carefully examine your own self, your requirements, and find out what kind of qualities you seek in a partner. 

Only when you are sure of these aspects should you start looking for the right individual for yourself. This is the safest and surest way to attain bliss and happiness in love and in life. 

Time Factor in a Relationship

You have a perfect relationship. You are always together and comfortable with the arrangement. However time factor can become a pertinent issue of contest between partners. One man states that other than the school and work schedule, him and his partner do all other work together. He has to neglect his obligations because his partner gets upset if she has to timeshare with other hobbies, where as she gets all the time for her works when the guy is in school. 

This man hardly gets time for himself. Obviously the man will feel that his partner is being unfair. Thus, time factors should be dealt with early enough before it becomes a persistent problem.  

It should be realized first that both of you require time out for yourselves. Otherwise there will be some resentment which will result in argument and friction. Time factor is critical and any relationship that doesn’t allow that is going to disintegrate. Look at the broader picture with you partner and understand each other’s needs. There is nothing bad in wanting personal space.  

Communication must occur in a meaningful and loving manner. Make sure this discussion does not go the wrong way and yield negative result. Communication is the best solution to any problem. Bottled up anger will explode some day and disintegrate the relationship.  

While discussing time alone offer assurance to your partner. Emphasize on the time spent together and appreciate it as your best moments together. Quietly explain to your partner that if you spend time alone then the time spent together will be sweeter and something to look forward to. 

Tell her you genuinely miss her when you are away from her but you need the time alone to focus on yourself. Encourage her to take time out to focus on herself as well. Do be cautious while discussing time factor in relationship.  

Schedule your time alone to put the time factor in relationship to an end. Be realistic and establish a regular routine of time apart. It doesn’t matter what you do in this time alone. Whether it’s studying, perusing a hobby or running errands. Be confident and fearless. Remember it’s for the benefit of the relationship. 

Let your partner express her feelings if she is resisting the notion of time alone. There might be some underlying deeper issues at the bottom of her heart and that is why she doesn’t want you to go out of sight.